Falling Rocks

Ask me about Falling Rocks, Sparkling Brook and Slippery.

Sea Lions...

Compare the skull's of bears and sea lions.

Cool, Huh ?

Penguins Again....

So there were these two penguins sitting on an Iceberg...

Think about it for a second, what would that look like?
Do (Can?) penguins even sit?

Or should it say... There were these two penguins standing on an Iceberg.

What is the proper phrase for two or more penguins just staying in one place for quite a while?
Are they sitting, or standing, or , or.., or what ?

Sorry, just a random thought on Penguins.

Oh, and I do like the colors... does it help them survive from seals , aka , Sea Lions ?
Black on top when they swim, so it's hard to see them from above against the black bottom of the ocean,
and white on the bottom, so if you're under them and looking up, they get lost in the sun light and ice above?

Humm.... sounds like a good concept for a PHD Thesis .

Penguins Again

I have some friends who like Penguins, but to me... Well, nice color combination, but man it must be COLD down there.
Anyway...

There are these two penguins standing on an Iceberg, and one says,
"It looks like you're wearing a Tuxedo."
and the other one says,
"How do you know that I'm not ?"

Compass

OK, So I was sitting behind a Jeep Compass and since the red light was longer than 10 seconds, I started to think of compasses.

A compass does not point the way. It simply points towards the North and the South when it's calm.
Shake the heck out of it, and it points every which way till you stop shaking it. Now it would be nice to have something that is constant and consistent. Especially in these wild times.

Oh, and it doesn't even point NORTH, it points to a location in North Eastern Canada.
Wow, that must have really messed with Henry Hudson's navigator. When they got there,
and Henry thought he was at the North Pole, his navigator used the sextant to 'shoot the sun' and found out that they were really only around 82 North, 110 West. So then Henry Hudson said, "Bay !!" , like a sheep.
And that's how it got it's name... Hudson's Bay !! ( Just Kidding.... )

Anyway, getting back to the compass. Steady, Consistent, ... nice job if you can get it.

Jack

Jack has got it made in the shade with lemonaide.
Depression approaching like a run-away freight train. Lot's of opportunity, lots of chaos.
Good luck, Jack !

The Perfect Recipe - and Science

OK, I won't tell you about when we ( Chuck, Philip, and Kenny) caught some frogs, cut off their legs and toes,
skinned them, and cooked them in a small messs kit pan with a lid, over a small fire. The trick is to keep the lid on so when the muscles contarct with the cooking, that they don't 'hop' out of the pan.
then you eat each one, which is only a nibble, off the small leg bones. They taste just like chicken, which years later gets you thinking that maybe frogs, chickens, and hence dinosaurs are all related.

See, told you there was some science in here.

Christmas Story

Why do I like "A Christmas Story" ?

It's easy, really, ... it reminds me of my youth.
I, like thousands of others, was a little kid like Ralphie, beset by fears of bullies, thoughts of the perfect theme in school, and not sure, till we saw it, that your tongue would stick to the below zero medal post. Plus, most all of us had, and dreamed of having, a BB Gun.

Ralphie, of course, had the perfect BB Gun. Red Ryder, who's sidekick was Little Beaver, an early pair like the Lone Ranger and Tonto. And of course a Compass in the stock ( that probably always pointed towards the barrel, so what good was that? But, Wow!, a Compass! and a thing that told time. A sundial branded into the stock, and if you pointed the 12 O'clock at Noon, and put a stick at the center hole, would tell you the time on a sunny day. Every boys dream back in the 1950's.
If you ever want to make a cool million bucks, just write a story about the times of your youth, and everyone your age will want to buy a copy. And someone who makes movies will buy the rights to your story, for a song, and make even more money. Perhaps you should become a movie maker. Or a video game maker.
Thousands of possibilities.

Be Good and Go To Heaven

We should want to go to Heaven as soon as possible to be Happy forever.
Let's assume we like Hamburgers and PIzza. Good Assumption.

So, if we eat a lot of Hamburgers and Pizza, we'll end up in Heaven sooner, rather than later.
Then we can be happy, praise the Lord, and have all the hamburgers and pizza we want.
Sounds like a Win-Win scenario.

But, lets now assume tht there is no Heaven,
then we've had a lot of them here, and enjoyed them here in this, the one and only life.

Again, Win, and then nothing..

But what if there is a Heaven and we Don't eat burgers and pizza.
Then we lose while on Earth, but win in Heaven.
So it's a
Lose, Win scenario.

Looks like the best way, to me, is to eat them here, and hope there is one after our time is done.
Just My Humble Opinion.

Is there a Hell ?

OK, let's ( for the sake of argument ) assume there is a Heaven and a Hell.
Who goes to Hell?
Well, probably really bad, bad, BAD guys. OK?
But who made them bad? Can't be their parents, else then Hell is full of Parents all the way back to the original parents, aka Adam and Eve. Cause according to the Bible, one of their kids was a bad, bad, BAD guy. Cain and Able. Remember that story?
So, they must have made themselves bad. Free Will and all that.
So the Parents are probably in Heaven.
HOWEVER, Heaven is all happiness, all the time, no tears allowed, and how many Mom's wouldn't miss one of their kids if they were in Heaven?
They'd cry at least once, knowing that their kid was down in Hell.
So, with people willing to forgive the most heinous crimes, (Mothers in Uganda forgiving the soldiers who killed their husbands and children), surely God must be willing to forgive.
So, it seems that perhaps there is NO One in Hell... or everyone is in Hell.

So... who knows if there really is a Heaven or a Hell?

Musical Movies

OK, favorite musical movies..
Harold and Maude with Cat Stevens.
Jesus Christ Superstar

Was wondering how the "Von Trapp Family Singers" would have survived the next 20+ years without "The Sound of Music" ?

More later.

Perseverance - The Aligator in the Zoo

BE KIND TO THE ALLIGATOR!

We went for a school trip to the local zoo when I was stationed in the Midwest.  I can't say the name of the base, cause once you get On It, you can't get Off It.

Anyway there is a world class zoo nearby, with a lot of money from Mutual of Omaha, but I can't say where the zoo is, because they may get upset about what I'm about to tell you.

Anyway, we had a bunch of eager 12 and 13 year olds, and as we were going through the entrance, each kid wanted a bag of peanuts.  So we bought a bunch of bags of peanuts and headed out to see the zoo.

Soon we came to a nice concrete pond, and in it was an alligator, who just layed in his small pond and watched the people go by, day in, day out.

Now the 12 year boys, being boys, started throwing peanuts at the alligator, trying to hit him on his nose.

"Bobby! Hit him in the nose!", said Jack.

"Come on Anderson, you can't hit nothing!", said Frank.

 But the alligator just lay there, calm and peaceful, with peanuts bouncing off his head, and wrote down their names.

'Cause he knew, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day... some day...  the caretaker who cleaned out the pond would one day forget to lock the gate.

 Then he'd get out, go to the nearest phone booth and look up their names to see where the little boys lived.
Then, ... Then... Then he'd get even.

A Few Heroes

Some of My Heroes
Captain Jack Sparrow
Harold and Maude,
Cat Stevens and all his good works, both with and without the Guitar.
Commander Peter Quincy Taggart - Never Give Up. Never Surrender.
Nancy
Christie
Trisha
Brian
Jack
TBD

and the weird people in my life,
Marc, who fought the demon for 15 years, then kept it at bay for another 15 years, and is now back in Heaven,
swimming in the park in Wahpeton, where we all grew up.

Rhyming Words at Christmas Time

Eskimos and Knows

as in

Johnny Mathis, singing....

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your nose,
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey
And some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys
And goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer
Really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said
Many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you.

Merry Christmas, Everyone.

Tax Advice

Each day on my way to work, I stop off at a 7-11 just outside our housing development. Every day, rain or shine, hot or cold, there stands "Buddy." I'm not sure if that's his real name, but every time I walk into the store I say, "Hi Buddy!" and I toss him a quarter. He always looked well groomed, but obviously unemployed and asking for money outside the store.

About April 10th, I was on my way to work, and was about to toss him another quarter, and he said, "Ah - thank you sir, but I've found a better method. If you just write me a check for 25 cents a day for the 280 work days you come in here, you can take it off on your taxes as a charitable contribution. All I need is a check for about $70, and you don't have to remember the quarter each day, and I don't have to stand here in the rain and cold or hot weather. And best of all, you get a deduction on your upcoming taxes."

Well, I went in the store, bought my coffee and donut, and was standing at the counter writing out the check for $70. The clerk said, "Are you writing a check for Buddy outside?"

"Yes," I said, "it's a tax break for me and makes it easier for him."

"Oh, No." She said, " He doesn't have a Tax ID, and is not a charitable institution. The IRS will not allow it, and more than likely you will get audited."

"Oh my! " I said and put my checkbook away.

On my way out of the store, there stood Buddy, and I really laid into him, explaining that he was deceiving people, and had better stop the tax break routine. I ended it with this admonition to him:

"Buddy, don't put all your begs into one ask-it!"

Penguin Joke

I heard this on the Prairie Home Companion on NPR on Saturday, June 24th, 2006. When they were broadcasting in Salt Lake City, Utah. [With my apologies, but it was so great]

Once upon a time, (actually everything that happens, happens at some upon a time or another)… but I digress…

Once upon a time there was this standup comic named Frank, and he was pretty good. So he was doing a standup gig in San Francisco, and he was on a tour with a group of comics out of New York. He was especially good at telling penguin jokes.

One of his jokes was about two penguins that are sitting on an iceberg.
One penguin says, “It looks like you’re wearing a tuxedo.”
And the other penguin says, “How do you know I’m not?”

Anyway, it just happened that there was a cruise director in the audience and the cruise director thought Frank was pretty funny. So he offered him a job as the warm up act on the cruise line on a trip to America Samoa. $400 a day, and free room and board. Well, of course Frank said “Yes!”, and got a job on a cruise line as one of the warmup acts for the show. So they booked him onto a medium sized cruise ship that was taking a bunch of rich Californians off to the Samoa Islands.

So, off sails the ship and that night Frank got up on stage and he starts out his act with this joke.
“Why are we all going to America Samoa?”
And the audience goes, “I don’t know, why?”
And Frank says, “So you can all spend Samoa Money!”

Well, that joke didn’t go over so well, so then he told his favorite Penguin joke. Well, that one hit the spot and everyone starts laughing, especially one rather large man in the front row, and he started out laughing, and laughing, and then laughing so hard he started to cry and then he collapsed onto the floor and went into cardiac arrest. Well, the crew responded quickly, and stabilized him, but they had to request a helicopter ambulance from the Coast Guard, to take the man off the ship for further medical care, so they flew him over to a nearby island and to the nearest hospital.

Well, the ship’s Captain and the cruise director were both very upset and they explained to Frank that they liked him, but just couldn't afford all the helicopters and emergency medical expenses, so they had to let him go, and bought out his contract and dropped him off at their next port of call enroute to America Samoa.

So Frank was stuck on this little rinky-dinky island for 3 days till he could catch a tramp steamer on its way to San Francisco. So to wile away his time, he went for a walk around the small island, and was talking to himself and practicing his jokes.

Frank came upon a flock of sheep and stood by the fence looking at them and decided to work on his favorite penguin joke. Unbeknown to him, one of the locals was playing with her new video camera and was filming this weird guy talking to the sheep.

So he told his penguin joke to the sheep, and then the1y started going crazy…. Baaa BAA BAAA , BAA BAA BAA… and it was like they were laughing at the joke. Then the sheep ran over to the edge of their pen and started going Baa, Baa to the pig, and the pig went nuts with GRUNT, GRUNNT, GRRUUUNT like it was laughing, and then the pig went over to the Horse and started grunting and grunting and the Horse went WHINNIE, WHIIINNIE, WHIINIE like it was laughing.

Then the horse went across his pasture and over to the cows and started telling the joke to the cows, and the cows went MOO, MOOOO, MOOOOO, and they all laughed so hard that milk came out of their noses.

Well, all this ended up on the videotape, but Frank didn’t notice. He went back to the port to wait for the ship.

So about 2 days later the tramp steamer came into port and Frank got on to get back to San Francisco. Well, about a day later out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean a huge storm came up and tossed the ship every which way and finally the ship broke in half and Frank found himself as the only survivor swimming in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Then it got worse. He got swallowed by a whale, and spent 3 weeks in the belly of the whale and finally got spat up on an unknown shore. Well, he had no idea where he was, but he saw some people off in the distance and started running towards them. They in turn started shooting at him. He raises his arms and they surround him. It turns out he was on the shore of Iraq and was captured by some local militia. But as they’re capturing him, one of them says, “Hey, you’re the guy in the video with the cow with the milk coming out of her nose!”

Well, Frank goes, “Huh?” and they tell him about this video that is all over the internet with this unknown guy telling a joke to some sheep, and the sheep tell it to the pigs and … (well, you know the story).
So they take Frank to the border with Kuwait, and he gets a ride down to Kuwait City and from there a flight to London, and from there to New York City.

As he arrives at customs in the USA, without a passport, the Customs Agents are looking at him, and there is something familiar about him and so they start checking their Terrorist Photo Book, because they know they’ve seen him before, and then it hits them…. He’s the guy in the Video with the Sheep and the Cow and the milk coming out of her nose. Well they welcome him back to the States and allow him to pass through. Then he catches a flight to SFO, because he just happened to have his money belt on him when he got paid by the cruise line. Being an actor/stand up comic, he didn’t have a bank account, of course.

So Frank gets home, and he has dozens of letters and messages on his phone answering machine to call these various book publishers and TV shows. They all want him to do a Penguin Book for them. You know, pictures of penguins with little balloons with stupid sayings above their heads.

So Frank makes a deal with Penguin Books to do TWO books. One for them, and another so he can tell the story of his adventure from the shipwreck, etc. But the catch is that he has to have the sayings for the penguins done by Tuesday so they can print 20 million copies and get them to the bookstores while it’s still fresh in everyone’s mind.

Oh, gosh, … only 2 days to come up with 100 stupid sayings… Well, Frank comes up with 50 rather fast, but he just can’t think of 50 more, so he goes off to take a break and decides to take a walk around town. As he’s going along, he comes to the Zoo and decides to spend a few hours in the Zoo getting ideas for the book.

While at the Zoo he comes upon the penguin display and asks the caretaker if he can just go inside, sit in the side where no one will see him, and just sit and watch the penguins and try to think up some stupid sayings for the book.

Well, the caretaker recognizes him and says, “Hey, you're the guy with the penguin joke and the cow with milk coming out of her nose. Well, sure, just knock on the door when you want out.”

So he lets Frank in, give his his parka, and Frank sits back on a rock out of sight of the visitors and watches the penguins. He's getting some great ideas, and is writing them down.

Well, pretty soon, a penguin waddles on over and starts going “ Honk, Honk, Hooonk !!!” and putting his flipper up by his nose.

“What?” , says Frank.

“Honk, Honk, Honk!” goes the penguin, and all the time tapping its flipper to his nose.

“Oh, my gosh,” says, Frank, “have you seen the video too?”

“Honk, Honk!” says the penguin, and he turns his head sideways and sort-of smiles.

The penguin starts honking like crazy and pokes his flipper in Frank’s hand like he’s trying to write something. Then he goes “Honk, Honk”, and Frank finely figures out that he’s trying to tell a Knock, Knock joke.

“Honk, Honk!” goes the penguin.

“Who’s There?”, says Frank.

And the penguin grunts this word, “Fornication”

Frank smiles and says… “Fornication who?”

And the penguin says,” Fornication like this, you should be wearing a tuxedo.”

Ramblin' Thoughts

1. Glad Obama won.
2. Was really worried that he wouldn't. It was close, but he pulled it out with excellent organization on HIS Part.
3. Bush really screwed up America, and with it, the world.

Dumplin' Soup

Grandma's Dumplin' Soup
  Great for a stormy day.

This is the mimimum… you can add more as you wish. (Adding frozen corn or frozen green beans is possible, but that changes the flavor slightly. Not bad… just different. I make it in a big spaghetti pot, and it should be able to serve over a dozen friends.

1 piece of Round Steak or Chuck Steak, about 1 pound or so.
2 Onions diced up.( I prefer one big vadalia onion.)
8 or more sticks of Celery chopped up.
2 [ 28 Oz ] large cans of PLUM Tomatoes (diced, crushed, or just whole... any is good, plum tomatos seem a bit sweeter, and then cut them up before adding. )
½ cup of Pearled Barley
2 Cups of Frozen Peas
2 Cups of chopped Carrots (or real one's , peeled, sliced and diced)
1 or 2 Bay leaves (Remove before making dumplins)
Worcestershire Sauce and or A-1 Sauce [ I do a little of both. ]
Celery Salt spice.

and the Dumplin's need
1 Egg
1 Cup of Milk
a bit more than 2 cups of Flour

Chop up Onions and celery and brown in large pot with a little oil.
(Canola, Olive or whatever... doesn't matter)
While that's browning, cut up steak into cubes.
Trim off Fat as large pieces, and put into the pot,
as this adds adds flavor and can be taken out near the end.
Add steak to pot... and brown along with the celery and onions.
Add a few shakes of Worcestershire and/or A-1 Sauce
When done, fish out the Big Fat Pieces and toss them or give to the critters outside if it's winter.
(They add lots of flavor as it cooks, but are tough to chew. :-) )

Add Cans of Tomatoes, and 4 full cans of water.
[ as I usually do 2 Cans of Plum Tomatoes, but then I make a BIG pot of this stuff ]
Bring to boil and reduce heat.
Add 2 cups or more of Peas
Add 2 cups or more of chopped Carrots
Shake a lot of Celery Salt into it.
Add a Large Bay Leaf.... so you can see it to fish it out later.
Add Pearled Barley,
Let simmer for an hour or more.
Fish out the Bay Leaf and let it simmer some more.
Add water if needed.
More Guests ? Add More Water.

Let it simmer for about 2 hours.

About 20 minutes before serving, make Dumplings
1 Egg
1 Cup of Milk
Stir together.
Add 2 Cups of Flour,
And stir together. (You may have to add a tad more flour)
Once it's like Bread dough, scoop out small chunks with a large spoon, and add to the soup.
They will sink, and then as they get done, they will rise.
Sprinkle in some more celery salt, serve and leave the shaker on the table for the guests to add to their own bowl of soup, too.

NOTE: THIS FREEZES VERY WELL IN PLASTIC CONTAINERS OR ZIPLOCK BAGS.
LEAVE A BIT OF ROOM FOR EXPANSION AS IT EXPANDS AS IT FREEZES.
Keeps for several months! MMM

Copywrite warning

FBI warning