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FIREWORKS!!!

Remember the Fireworks at LYA on Saturday after the 4th of July.
If that doesn't make sense, don't worry.

LIFE - The Screensaver

My Kind Of Teacher

For Grip in SD

A former Gunny Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back when he fell from a cliff while rock climbing. As part of his therapy he was required to wear a fiberglass cast around the upper part of his body.

Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't that noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler, opened it up flat, and 'Bam, Bam, Bam!'  promptly stapled the tie to his chest. 

Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year. 

 

Love the Kids...

Why do you love your kids?
1. For what they've done.
2. For what they're doing.
3. For what they're going to do.


Be VERY Proud of your kids... they deserve it!
Oh, and TELL THEM, OFTEN!


Oh, and this works for Grand Kids, too!

YUMMY!!!!

Cinnamon Cashew Roasted Nuts
[ I also prefer Walnuts, or Pecans , others prefer Almonds ]

1 egg white
1 tablespoon water
1/2 t. almond extract  [ Optional}

4 c. almonds , walnut, cashews or pecans
  [ Raw, UNSALTED ]

1/2c. Splenda or if you are die-hard organic, use Sugar!
1/4 t. salt   [ Optional]
 2 or 3 Tablespoons. Cinnamon

Whisk 1st three liquid ingredients together, and pour over nuts,
Stir to coat very well. 

Stir last three ingredients together, and then Sprinkle over nuts and stir again really well.

Bake on parchment paper-lined or lightly sprayed baking sheet with edges. 
[ I skip the paper or light spray... they don't stick much, and scraping with a spatula every 20 minutes is sufficient.]

250 degrees F for 1 hr.
Take out every 20 minutes, stir them up with a spatula to keep them from clumping togher,
and then put ‘em back in oven.

Cool. Store in zip lock bags or in tight jar.
23 nuts Equal 1 point Weight Watchers,
but I doubt if you can stop at 23.
REALLY YUMMY!!

Update on my apology... from the past, by another 'Dad'

Tomgram:
Chip Ward, Apologies to the Next Generation for the Turmoil to Come
Posted by Chip Ward at 9:25am, March 27, 2012.

We Screwed Up
A Letter of Apology to My Granddaughter
By Chip Ward
[Note: I became politically active and committed on the day 20 years ago when I realized I could stand on the front porch of my house and point to three homes where children were in wheelchairs, to a home where a child had just died of leukemia, to another where a child was born missing a kidney, and yet another where a child suffered from spina bifida.  All my parental alarms went off at once and I asked the obvious question: What’s going on here?  Did I inadvertently move my three children into harm’s way when we settled in this high desert valley in Utah?  A quest to find answers in Utah’s nuclear history and then seek solutions followed.  Politics for me was never motivated by ideology.  It was always about parenting.
Today my three kids are, thankfully, healthy adults.  But now that grandchildren are being added to our family, my blood runs cold whenever I project out 50 years and imagine what their world will be like at middle age -- assuming they get that far and that there is still a recognizable “world” to be part of.  I wrote the following letter to my granddaughter, Madeline, who is almost four years old.  Although she cannot read it today, I hope she will read it in a future that proves so much better than the one that is probable, and so terribly unfair.  I’m sharing this letter with other parents and grandparents in the hope that it may move them to embrace their roles as citizens and commit to the hard work of making the planet viable, the economy equitable, and our culture democratic for the many Madelines to come.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
March 20, 2012
Dear Maddie,
        I address this letter to you, but please share it with Jack, Tasiah, and other grandchildren who are yet unborn.  Also, with your children and theirs.  My unconditional love for my children and grandchildren convinces me that, if I could live long enough to embrace my great-grandchildren, I would love them as deeply as I love you.
On behalf of my generation of grandparents to all of you, I want to apologize.
I am sorry we used up all the oil.  It took a million years for those layers of carbon goo to form under the Earth’s crust and we used up most of it in a geological instant.  No doubt there will be some left and perhaps you can get around the fact that what remains is already distant, dirty, and dangerous, but the low-hanging fruit will be long-gone by the time you are my age.  We took it all.

There’s no excuse, really.  We are gas-hogs, plain and simple.  We got hooked on faster-bigger-more and charged right over the carrying capacity of the planet.  Oil made it possible.
Machines are our slaves and coal, oil, and gas are their food.  They helped us grow so much of our own food that we could overpopulate the Earth.  We could ship stuff and travel all over the globe, and still have enough fuel left to drive home alone in trucks in time to watch Monday Night Football.

Rocket fuel, fertilizer, baby bottles, lawn chairs: we made everything and anything out of oil and could never get enough of it.  We could have conserved more for you to use in your lifetime.  Instead, we demonstrated the self-restraint of crack addicts. It’s been great having all that oil to play with and we built our entire world around that.  Living without it will be tough.  Sorry.
I hope we develop clean, renewable energy sources soon, or that you and your generation figure out how to do that quickly.  In the meantime, sorry about the climate.  We just didn’t realize our addiction to carbon would come with monster storms, epic droughts, Biblical floods, wildfire infernos, rising seas, migration, starvation, pestilence, civil war, failed states, police states, and resource wars.

I’m sure Henry Ford didn’t see that coming when he figured out how to mass-produce automobiles and sell them to Everyman.  I know my parents didn’t see the downside of using so much gas and coal.  The all-electric house and a car in the driveway was their American Dream.  For my generation, owning a car became a birthright.  Today, it would be hard for most of us to live without a car.  I have no idea what you’ll do to get around or how you will heat your home.  Oops!

We also pigged out on most of the fertile soil, the forests and their timber, and the oceans that teemed with fish before we scraped the seabed raw, dumped our poisonous wastes in the water, and turned it acid and barren.  Hey, that ocean was an awesome place and it’s too bad you can’t know it like we did.  There were bright coral reefs, vibrant runs of red salmon, ribbons of birds embroidering the shores, graceful shells, the solace and majesty of the wild sea…
…But then I never saw the vast herds of bison that roamed the American heartland, so I know it is hard to miss something you only saw in pictures.  We took lots of photos.

We thought we were pretty smart because we walked a man on the moon.  Our technology is indeed amazing.  I was raised without computers, smart phones, and the World Wide Web, so I appreciate how our engineering prowess has enhanced our lives, but I also know it has a downside.

When I was a kid we worried that the Cold War would go nuclear.  And it wasn’t until a river caught fire near Cleveland that we realized fouling your own nest isn’t so smart after all.  Well, you know about the rest -- the coal-fired power plants, acid rain, the hole in the ozone...

There were plenty of signs we took a wrong turn but we kept on going.  Dumb, stubborn, blind: Who knows why we couldn’t stop?  Greed maybe -- powerful corporations we couldn’t overcome. It won’t matter much to you who is to blame.  You’ll be too busy coping in the diminished world we bequeath you.

One set of problems we pass on to you is not altogether our fault.  It was handed down to us by our parents’ generation so hammered by cataclysmic world wars and economic hardship that they armed themselves to the teeth and saw enemies everywhere.  Their paranoia was understandable, but they passed their fears on to us and we should have seen through them. 

I have lived through four major American wars in my 62 years, and by now defense and homeland security are powerful industries with a stranglehold on Congress and the economy.  We knew that was a lousy deal, but trauma and terror darkened our imaginations and distorted our priorities.  And, like you, we needed jobs.

Sorry we spent your inheritance on all that cheap bling and, especially, all those weapons of mass destruction.  That was crazy and wasteful.   I can’t explain it.  I guess we’ve been confused for a long time now.

Oh, and sorry about the confusion.  We called it advertising and it seemed like it would be easy enough to control.  When I was a kid, commercials merely interrupted entertainment.  Don’t know when the lines all blurred and the buy, buy, buy message became so ubiquitous and all-consuming.  It just got outta hand and we couldn’t stop it, even when we realized we hated it and that it was taking us over.  We turned away from one another, tuned in, and got lost.
I’m betting you can still download this note, copy it, share it, bust it up and remake it, and that you do so while plugged into some sort of electrical device you can’t live without -- so maybe you don’t think that an apology for technology is needed and, if that’s the case, an apology is especially relevant. 

The tools we gave you are fine, but the apps are mostly bogus.  We made an industry of silly distraction.  When our spirits hungered, we fed them clay that filled but did not nourish them.  If you still don’t know the difference, blame us because we started it.

And sorry about the chemicals.  I mean the ones you were born with in your blood and bones that stay there -- even though we don’t know what they’ll do to you).  Who thought that the fire retardant that kept smokers from igniting their pillows and children’s clothes from bursting into flames would end up in umbilical cords and infants?

It just seemed like better living through chemistry at the time.  Same with all the other chemicals you carry.  We learned to accept cancer and I guess you will, too.  I’m sure there will be better treatments for that in your lifetime than we have today.  If you can afford them, that is.  Turning healthcare over to predatory corporations was another bad move.

All in all, our chemical obsession was pretty reckless and we got into that same old pattern: just couldn’t give up all the neat stuff.  Oh, we tried.  We took the lead out of gasoline and banned DDT, but mostly we did too little, too late.  I hope you’ve done better.  Maybe it will help your generation to run out of oil, since so many of the toxic chemicals came from that.  Anyway, we didn’t see it coming and we could have, should have. Our bad.

There are so many other things I wish I could change for you.  We leave behind a noisy world.  Silence is rare today, and unless some future catastrophe has left your numbers greatly diminished, your machines stilled, and your streets ghostly empty, it is likely that the last remnants of tranquility will be gone by the time you are my age.

And how about all those species, the abundant and wondrous creatures that are fading away forever as I write these words?  I never saw a polar bear and I guess you can live without that, too, but when I think of the peep and chirp of frogs at night, the hum of bees busy on a flower bed, the trill of birds at dawn, and so many other splendorous pleasures that you may no longer have, I ache with regret.  We should have done more to keep the planet whole and well, but we couldn’t get clear of the old ways of seeing, the ingrained habits, the way we hobble one another’s choices so that the best intentions never get realized.

Mostly I’m sorry about taking all the good water.  When I was a child I could kneel down and drink from a brook or spring wherever we camped and played.  We could still hike up to glaciers and ski down snow-capped mountains.

Clean, crisp, cold, fresh water is life’s most precious taste.  A life-giving gift, all water is holy.  I repeat: holy.  We treated it, instead, as if it were merely useful.  We wasted and tainted it and, again in a geological moment, sucked up aquifers that had taken 10,000 years to gather below ground.  In my lifetime, glaciers are melting away, wells are running dry, dust storms are blowing, and rivers like the mighty Colorado are running dry before they reach the sea.  I hate to think of what will be left for you.  Sorry.  So very, very sorry.

I’m sure there’s a boatload of other trouble we’re leaving you that I haven’t covered here.  My purpose is not to offer a complete catalog of our follies and atrocities, but to do what we taught your parents to do when they were as little as you are today.

When you make a mistake, we told them, admit it, and then do better.  If you do something wrong, own up and say you are sorry.  After that, you can work on making amends.
I am trying to see a way out of the hardship and turmoil we are making for you.  As I work to stop the madness, I will be mindful of how much harder your struggles will be as you deal with the challenges we leave you to face.

The best I can do to help you through the overheated future we are making is to love you now.  I cannot change the past and my struggle to make a healthier future for you is uncertain, but today I can teach you, encourage you, and help you be as strong and smart and confident as you can be, so that whatever the future holds, whatever crises you face, you are as ready as possible. We will learn to laugh together, too, because love and laughter can pull you through the toughest times.

I know a better world is possible. We create that better world by reaching out to one another, listening, learning, and speaking from our hearts, face to face, neighbor to neighbor, one community after another, openly, inclusively, bravely.  Democracy is not a gift to be practiced only when permitted. We empower ourselves. Our salvation is found in each other, together.
Across America this morning and all around the world, our better angels call to us, imploring us to rise up and be as resilient as our beloved, beautiful children and grandchildren, whose future we make today.   We can do better.  I promise.
Your grandfather,
Chip Ward

Chip Ward, a TomDispatch regular, co-founded HEAL Utah and led several grassroots campaigns to make polluters accountable.  He wrote Canaries on the Rim and Hope’s Horizon, was an administrator of the award-winning Salt Lake City Public Library, and then retired to the canyons of southern Utah.  His latest work, just published, is Dance, Don't Drive: Resilient Thinking for Turbulent Times. His essays can be read at chipwardessays.blogspot.com.  He can be written at moonbolt3@hotmail.com.
Follow TomDispatch on Twitter @TomDispatch

Copyright 2012 Chip Ward 

life thoughts...

[comment] I think this may have been written by e.e.cummings... or my daughter.

from     wunderlast.pen.io 

some rules i try to live by:

1. don't panic. don't take anything, not even these words (and especially not yourself), too seriously.
2. never stop thinking.. if someone ever says to you ‘you need to stop thinking so much' just ignore them and keep thinking deeper... your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. FACT.
3. daydream as much as possible, even if it's only for a few seconds at a time. stare into space blankly and don’t ever punish yourself for doing it. there's no such thing as wasting time.
4. don’t be afraid to talk about anything. ask questions, and demand answers.
5. everyone is original. every life experience is case sensitive and unique. every thing you do makes you more YOU than anyone else has ever been.
6. stop rushing. take your time and enjoy every moment.
7. don't let anyone tell you what to believe. discover 'religion' for yourself.. it should never be taught, only found.
8. talking to yourself is healthy. who else do you have more in common with?
9. we will always be in a transitional phase. look around you and know that everything will be replaced at some point.. this existence is only temporary.
10. if someone else has already said it better, don't be afraid to quote them.
11. there is no such thing as time. there is only your life- earlier today you were born and death is predicted later in the evening.
12. every now and then take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. renew its existence.
13. be happy... but don’t force it. that defeats the purpose. discover what is making you unhappy, and change it.
14. you will always succeed in trying.
15. we are all crazy. every person you read about in the history books, already know, or will maybe meet on the street, has or had some kind of ‘disorder’...you just have to learn how to use yours.
16. we are all about as similar as we are different.
17. ideas are just as valuable as people. why do you think we keep making people? we hope new people will have new ideas to share- so don't let everyone down by keeping yours to yourself.
18. words will always be just words. only the feelings are real
19. ask a child for advice, and never speak down to them. they may not know much, but they know what is important.
20. prove you’re alive. remind the world you are still here.

War, Huh! What is it good for?

OK.... This is a quick thought stream, and will probably be updated as time goes by.

I saw a comment yesterday and it stuck with me.... "Are we training our kids for combat with all the video games we give them?"

I can see the future 'Wars' being fought with robots that are remote control, and our kids are sitting in some sort of virtual control booth/seat/suit and controlling their personal robot(s) that have AI on board, so one kid can control a "SGT" robot and a few drones ( pawns ) to form a squad.  

  They train in simulators, then go 'side saddle' with one of the more experienced pros, and finally they get a SGT and squad of their own.  

   Wow, this sounds like it could be a great novel/movie.

   Show kid growing up playing video games, start with the Lego type games, then go into the more advanced Worlds of .. type games, and finally they 'join up' and graduate to the big league.  

    Army and Marine assault troops, Air Force aircraft and space based vehicles.  Navy ships, subs, and carriers.  (Navy may have a political battle with the Air Force over the aircraft control. )

    Then what happens when the 'kids' start to suffer from mission creep and PTS (Post Traumatic Syndrome) . They start to see the people and things that they destroy in their dreams, and start to have neurotic problems.  [ need a better word for that] 

Mental problems? Nervous problems, Nervous breakdowns? 

   That's book 1

Book 2

   Follows the recovery and change of attitude where he's now fighting the system [underground] to destroy the current war machine.  Humm... lots of computer stuff.. lots of simulator stuff.. lots of robot on robot stuff as you break into and out of various research and operational labs.

Wow, this could get Big.

OK, more later....

TAX BREAK FOR BUDDY

Each day on my way to work, I stop off at the WAWA just outside our housing development to get some coffee.

Every day, rain or shine, hot or cold, there stands "Buddy".

I'm not sure if that's his real name, but every time I walk into the store I say, "Hi Buddy!" and I toss him a quarter. He always looked clean and well groomed, but obviously unemployed and asking for money outside the store.

About April 10th, I was on my way to work, and was about to toss him another quarter, and he said, "Ah - thank you sir, but I've found a better method. If you just write me a check for 25 cents a day for the 280 work days you come in here, you can take it off on your taxes as a charitable contribution. All I need is a check for about $70, and you don't have to remember the quarter each day, and I don't have to stand here in the rain and wind and the cold or hot weather. Best of all, you get a deduction on your upcoming taxes."

Well, I went in the store, bought my coffee and donuts, and was standing at the counter writing out the check for $70. The clerk said, "Are you writing a check for Buddy outside?"

"Yes," I said, "it's a tax break for me and makes his life a lot easier."

"Oh, No!" She said, " He doesn't have a Tax ID, and is not a charitable institution. The IRS will not allow it. You will get audited."

"Oh my! " I said , and put my checkbook away.

On my way out of the store, there stood Buddy, and I really laid into him, explaining that he was deceiving people, and had better stop the tax break routine. I ended it with this admonition to him:

"Buddy, don't put all your begs into one ask-it!" 

VERY PROUD !

Well, I have Proof Positive that my daughters are the smartest people in the world.

How? What's your proof?

Why, because they selected the best partners on the Earth!

Thanks Brian and Derek for finding them!!
You guys are THE BEST !!

World Famous Birthday

Ben Franklin

So, I was in WAWA ( like a 7-11, but local and better ) and as I was getting my coffee, a stranger said, "Where ya been? I haven't seen you in quite a while."
and I said, "Oh, I've been out for a few weeks with a twisted ankle."
and he said, "I remember you cause you remind me of Ben Franklin."
and so we continued talking and I told him some facts about Ben, bifocals, Kite and Electricity (just a legend) , his exploits with older women, and why, and how he invented an automatic door lock for his bedroom.

So, we both learned something... he about Ben Franklin, and I that I looked like him.
EEEEEKKK !!!

One of my many jobs in an exciting life.

Can you believe this? Ronald Reagan put me in charge of 10 ICBM's each with a MK12A (pronounced Mark 12 A ) with 3 RV's of a yield of 330 KT each. Usually targeted at 3 targets, but could all be dropped on a single site. 

You can see them at this site below

  MARK 12 A with Nose Cone and 3 RV's

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! 

To the Tune of the William Tell Overture. 

Happy, Happy, Birthday ! 
Happy, Happy, Birthday ! 
Happy, Happy, Birthday ! 
HAAAPPPYY  BIR-ERTH-DAY !! 

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday! 
Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday! 
Happy, Happy, Birthday ! 
Happy, Happy, Birthday ! 
Happy, Happy, Birthday ! 
HAAAPPPYY  BIR-ERTH-DAY !! 

Wishing You A Very HAPPY BIRTHDAY !! 

B-29 Crashes on return from mission against Japan.

Film Found of B-29 Crash and Crew Rescue by Submarine

Thought some of you might enjoy this...The first link below is a very interesting news story worth watching...about 2.5 mins. It describes how an entire crew of a B-29 bomber (12 aviators) was rescued by a US submarine after their plane was shot down in 1945, 70 miles off the coast of Japan. The entire crash and rescue was filmed in color video but then sat in a guy's closet ... until now. This story is from a Denver TV station about one of those rescued aviators to whom the video was delivered.

The second link shows the entire video ... just over 8 mins ... crash, rescue, and the crew's transfer to another submarine that is likely headed back to port before the one that accomplished the rescue."

Can you imagine?? Receiving a video 65 yrs AFTER your rescue and you get to see it on film?!?! WOW!!!


http://bcove.me/ujl16va7
http://bcove.me/6nztpfmd

From the ROWF [ Retired Old Weather Farts ] website at http://rowf.info

CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKE

Chocolate Zucchini Cake

INGREDIENTS:
 3 cups all-purpose flour
1& 1/4  teaspoon baking powder
1 & 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4  teaspoon cinnamon
3 squares of unsweetened chocolate squares.
 4 eggs
3 cups granulated sugar
1 & 1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 & 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon of almond extract
1/2 pound raw zucchini, shredded  ( About 2 Cups )
  1 cup coarsely chopped pecans
1/2 cup chopped dates

Optional: Confectioners' sugar to sprinkle on top when it's done.

PREPARATION:

Generously grease and flour a 10-inch Angel Food cake pan.
Preheat oven to 350°.

Sift flour with baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon,  set aside.

In a large mixing bowl with hand held electric mixer at high speed, beat eggs until light in color and fluffy.

Gradually beat in granulated sugar until light and fluffy;
Beat in oil. with mixer at low speed,
beat in the sifted dry ingredients in thirds.

Drain shredded zucchini
Fold zuchinni into the flour mixture along with vanilla and nuts and dates.
Spoon into prepared tube (angel food)  pan and bake at 350 for 1 hour and 15 minutes,
or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean.

Cool in pan on rack for 20 minutes, then remove from pan to cool completely.
Sift confectioners' sugar over cake before serving, or chocolate frosting.

- Mrs Paul Leanas. Franklin Park, Chicago Il area.

"NOW" they tell me..

Seems that now some physicists are thinking that "TIME" is just a dimension like Up, Left, Back... and some others think it's just an illusion, and we're actually existing in all 'times' past, present, and future.

So I guess I'll just go to the March 3rd in 1954, and warn myself to pay attention when playing hockey.


See You There....

On 2012

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. 
Our calendars ended there because some Spanish dirt-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,
The Mayans

History Time

Wow, I guess we're seeing history all around us.
Greece... and a possible (possible) vote on the austerity cuts.
Oakland... and the strike tomorrow, longshoremen, and the entire Occupy movement.
If Oakland is somewhat successful, will it spread to other sites?
Oh, and the stock market is going down the tubes.

The NPR Penguin Joke

First a short one.
Here goes:
A penguin goes into a bar and walk up to the bartender and says "I can't find my dad. Have you seen him?"
And the bartender says "I don't know. What does he look like?"

and now the Shaggy Dog One.
====
I heard this on the Prairie Home Companion on NPR on Saturday, June 24th, 2006. When they were broadcasting in Salt Lake City, Utah.  We were driving home from seeing the kids and it didn't finish when we got home, but it was so great that I sat in the driveway for about 3 more minutes to listen till the end.

Once upon a time, (actually everything that happens, happens at some upon a time or another)… but I digress…  anyway...

Once upon a time there was this standup comic named Frank, and he was really good.  He was doing a standup gig in San Francisco at a comedy club, as he was on a tour with a group of comics out of New York.  He was especially good at telling penguin jokes.

One of his jokes goes like this,
Two penguins that are sitting on an iceberg.
One penguin looks over and says, “It looks like you’re wearing a tuxedo.”
And the other penguin looks over and says, “How do you know I’m not?”

It just happened that there was a cruise director in the audience and the cruise director thought Frank was pretty funny.  They were about to take a medium sized cruise ship, with a group of rich Californians off to the Samoa Islands.  Afterwards he talks to Frank back stage,

"Frank, I'll give you $300 a day, and free room and board on the ship, all the way out to America Samoa AND back, if you'll be the warm-up act."

  Well, of course Frank said “Yes!”,  and got a job on a cruise line as one of the warm up acts for the show.

So, off sails the ship and that night Frank got up on stage and he starts out his act with this joke:
“Why are we all going to America Samoa?”
And the audience goes, “I don’t know, why?”
And Frank says, “So you can all spend Samoa Money!”

Well, that joke didn’t go over so well, so then he told his favorite Penguin joke.  That one hit the spot and everyone starts laughing, especially one rather large man in the front row, and he started out laughing, and laughing, and then laughing so hard he started to cry!  Then he collapsed onto the floor and went into cardiac arrest!

Well, the crew responded quickly, and stabilized him, but they had to request a helicopter ambulance from the Coast Guard, to take the man off the ship for further medical care.  They flew him over to a nearby island and then put him on a medical evac plane and flew him to the nearest hospital.

Well, the ship’s Owner, the Captain and the Cruise Director were all very upset and they explained to Frank that they liked him, but just couldn't afford all the helicopters and emergency medical expenses, so they had to let him go. Frank was just Too Damn Funny! They bought out his contract and dropped him off at their next port of call en route to America Samoa.

So Frank was stuck on this little rinky-dinky island for 3 days till he could catch a tramp steamer on its way to San Francisco.  He has his $300 a day for 14 days, plus his passport in his money belt, so he's feeling pretty good. To while away his time, he went for a walk around the small island, and was talking to himself and practicing his jokes.

Eventually Frank came upon a flock of sheep and stood by the fence looking at them and decided to work on his favorite penguin joke.  Unbeknownst to him, one of the locals was playing with his new video camera and was recording this weird guy talking to the sheep.

So Frank told his penguin joke to the sheep, and then they started going crazy…. Baaa BAA BAAA , BAA BAA BAA… and it was like they were laughing at the joke.  Then the sheep ran over to the edge of their pen and started going Baa, Baa to the pig, and the pig went nuts with GRUNT, GRUNNT, GRRUUUNT like it was laughing, and then the pig went over to the Horse and started grunting and grunting and the Horse went WHINNIE, WHIIINNIE, WHIINIE like it was laughing.  The whole time the kid on the island with the new video camera was busy recording the entire event.

Then the horse went across his pasture and over to the cows and started telling the joke to the cows, and the cows went MOO, MOOOO, MOOOOO, and they all laughed so hard that milk came out of their noses!!!

Well, all this ended up on the recording, but Frank didn’t notice. He went back to port to wait for the ship.

So about 2 days later the tramp steamer came into port and Frank got on to get back to San Francisco.  About a day later out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean a huge storm came up and tossed the ship every which way and the ship broke in half and Frank found himself as the only survivor swimming in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Then it got worse. Worse? How could it get Worse?

Well, he got swallowed by a whale, and spent 3 weeks in the mouth of this LARGE whale and finally the whale clears his throat and Frank was spat up on an unknown shore.

He had no idea where he was, but he saw some people off in the distance and started running and waving his arms in the air as he ran towards them.

They in turn started shooting at him.  He raised his arms and they surrounded him.  It turns out he was on the shore of Iraq in the Persian Gulf and was captured by some local militia.  As they’re capturing him, one of them says, “Hey! Wait ! You’re the guy in the video  from Larry on YouTube, the one with the cow with the milk coming out of her nose!”

Well, Frank goes, “Huh?” and they tell him about this video that is all over the internet with this guy Larry, and it shows Frank telling the penguin joke to some sheep, and the sheep tell it to the pigs and … (well, you know the story).

So they take Frank to the border with Kuwait, and he gets across the border  passport and picks up a ride down to Kuwait City. Luckily, because he just happened to have his money belt on him when he got paid by the cruise line, he's all set.  Being an actor/stand up comic, he didn’t have a bank account, of course.  So he got a flight to London, and from there to New York City.

As he arrives at customs in JFK, the Customs Agents are looking at him, and there is something familiar about him.  So they start checking their Official TSA Terrorist Photo Book, because they know they’ve seen him before, and then it hits them…. He’s the guy in the Video with the Sheep and the Cow and the milk coming out of her nose.

 Well, they welcome him back to the States and allow him to pass through. Now he's back in NYC!

So Frank gets to his apartment in San Francisco, and he has dozens of letters and messages on his phone answering machine to call these various book publishers and TV shows.  They all want him to do a Penguin Book for them.  You know, pictures of penguins with little balloons with stupid sayings above their heads.  But, and it's a big Butt, he has to have it finished in 5 days, so they can print it up and get it on the newsstands before the novelty of the penguins fades away.

So Frank makes a deal with Penguin Books to do TWO books.  One for them, and another so he can tell the story of his adventure from the shipwreck, etc.  But the catch is that he has to have the sayings for the penguins done by Tuesday so they can print 40 million copies and get them to the bookstores while it’s still fresh in everyone’s mind.

Oh, gosh, … only 4 more days to come up with 100 stupid sayings… Well, Frank comes up with 50 rather fast, but he just can’t think of 50 more, so he goes off to take a break and decides to take a walk around town.  As he’s going along, he comes to the Zoo and decides to spend a few hours in the Zoo getting ideas for the book.

While at the Zoo he comes upon the penguin display and asks the caretaker if he can just go inside, sit in the side where no one will see him, and just sit and watch the penguins and try to think up some stupid sayings for the book.

Well, the caretaker recognizes him and says, “Hey, you're the guy with the penguin joke and the cow with milk coming out of her nose.  Well, sure, just knock on the door when you want out. Here's the parka we wear when we go in there.”

So he lets Frank in, gives him his parka, and Frank sits back on a rock out of sight of the visitors and watches the penguins.  He's getting some great ideas, and is writing them all down.

Well, soon a penguin waddles on over and starts going “ Honk, Hooonk !!!” and putting his flipper up by his nose.

“What?” , says Frank.

“Honk, Honk!” goes the penguin, and all the time tapping its flipper to his nose.

“Oh, my gosh,” says, Frank, “have you seen the video too?”

“Honk, Honk!” says the penguin, and he turns his head sideways and sort-of smiles.

The penguin starts honking like crazy and pokes his flipper in Frank’s hand like he’s trying to write something.  Then he goes “Honk, Honk”, and Frank finely figures out that he’s trying to tell a Knock, Knock joke.

“Honk, Honk!” goes the penguin.
“Who’s There?”, says Frank.
And the penguin grunts this word, “Fornication”
Frank smiles and says… “Fornication who?”
And the penguin says,” Fornication like this, you should also be wearing a tuxedo.”

Princess Bride Reunion Video

Inconceivable !!
Princess Bride Video

Day Job Still There

I know... don't give up on your Day Job.
OK, I won't.

The problem with listening TOO much.

"The Listener"
- A fictional short story By Chuck Peterka (c) 2011

Larry has worked for the National Security Agency for the last 25 years. He started out in the Soviet analysis directorate, where they took all the voice intelligence, cross referenced it with the various other events happening around the globe, to discern where and what the Russkies were up to. He moved up the organization, and even built some devices, software, and combinations of computers that now monitored across the globe looking for terrorist trends and plans.

So, now Larry was working the day shift, he was working the East Coast, New England desk, along with Debbie, a junior analyst, and Rashid, who maintained the hardware/software systems that did the bulk of the analysis. The computers would extract the information from all the cameras, telephone traffic (cell and landline), and other systems that "we'd tell you, but we'd have to..." as they say around the organization.

The computers scanned all the information, looked for patterns and key concepts, and then passed the suspect information on to Debbie and Larry. Things were never boring in the LPAR, Listening Post Analysis Room, and tonight was no exception.

"Larry, got a RWSG planning a police station takeover in Worcester, Mass." , said Debbie.

"Pass it on to Francis Rizzo in the Mass State Police, District 9.", he directed. Larry had listened to hundreds of Right Wing Separatists Groups, and the State Police knew what to do with the info they routinely passed on to them at least once a month.

He used to do a lot of the actual listening himself, but now he had computers, and Debbie, to do most of the grunt work, and he made the decisions on what was imminent, what was moderate, and what could be passed on for just further watching.

They got off work around 11:15 after the shift changeover, and headed out to their cars. Larry was a bit wound up, so he decided to stop off at Applebee's for a steak and some fries, and a cold beer.

Walking in the waitress took him down to a booth down near the windows. He sat down, ordered the beer, and looked at the menu. A couple of college kids came in, and the waitress seated them in the booth behind Larry. As he was reading the menu, he found himself listening to their conversation.

"That Bio Professor, what a old fart! Looks like he's never been out of the Anderson building."
"You should see my Elem Ed 107 teacher, Ms Solvin. She thinks teaching kids is the greatest thing in the universe."
"I got this really hunky teacher in my Art History 211 course. He was talking about a museum in Milan, and it was like we were right there with him walking the hallways. It was soooo real!"

The watress returned, and he ordered the New York strip steak and fries and another beer.

He sat back, and a young married couple came in with two kids, a boy about 8 and a girl about 6. The watress seated them in the booth in front of Larry.
As they sat down, Larry found himself listening to their conversation, along with the college kids behind him.

"Ok Betty, you sit over hear and Joseph you sit next to your dad. What do you kids want to eat?"
"Chicken Nuggets!" "Can I get a hot dog and french fries but no pickle or mustard, only ketchup, mom!"
"Derek that's his name, I just love that History teacher, too. Oh, can we get the nacho sampler tray?"

and on and on... and Larry found that he couldn't put them out of his mind. ..... and then you go on and show how he's slowly going nuts, because he's been listening to people for so long, that he can't turn it off, and it drives him off the wall... and he just get's more and more paranoid, goes to the Dr's office, and he's listening to the people in the waiting room,
goes to a library, and finds that he's pulling biographys off the wall reading what people said about other people.
goes to get gas, and finds that he's listening to the other customers as they pump gas.
. cool concept?

OK, well, gotta go.

Water and Drought

No such thing as climate change.
Don't worry about the rain in the Northeast.
Don't worry about the drought in the Southwest.
No such thing as Global Warming.
...
Sorry, I have to go throw up, 'cause I'm laughing so hard and I tried eating popcorn and drinking a pepsi and thinking about what I just wrote.
That is so, so stupid.
Of course there is Global Warming.
Of course we should worry.
OK, see ya'll later.

Just a holding area for Love and Life

Love is what holds Life Together.
Love is all around us,
Love [ <3 ] in the center,
and all around it are words like ..

Patience,
Tolerance,
Teaching,
Helping,
Holding,
Supporting,
Giving Anonymously,
Pay It Forward,
...
...

Thanks Dad !!

Someone says it better than I.
Reminds me of when I became responsible for filling the coal stoker.
=====
Jun 19 2011
Subconscious Information Processing

It's Father's Day and I thought I'd tell a story about my Dad and something he taught me a long time ago.

I was in middle school and I had a school project due the next day and it came up at dinner that I had not done the project. My Dad made me stay up very late that night until I had completed it. And he stayed up with me.

He made sure I understood two things that evening. The first one is obvious. When assigned something, you do it and you do it on time.

But the second thing he explained to me was more subtle and way more powerful. He explained that I should start working on a project as soon as it was assigned. "An hour or so would do fine", he told me. He told me to come back to the project every day for at least a little bit and make progress on it slowly over time. I asked him why that was better than cramming at the very end (as I was doing during the conversation).

Dad explained that once your brain starts working on a problem, it doesn't stop. If you get your mind wrapped around a problem with a fair bit of time left to solve it, the brain will solve the problem subconsciously over time and one day you'll sit down to do some more work on it and the answer will be right in front of you.

I've taken that approach with every big problem I've faced ever since. I used this technique to get through high school, college, and business school. I've used this technique to develop a career in investing and technology. I've even used this technique to deal with our own parenting challenges.

I'm a big fan of subconscious information processing. It is why I have my some of my best ideas in the shower in the morning. It is why I write every morning right after I get up. I believe that while I'm sleeping, my mind is churning through the things that I'm trying to figure out and often the answers are back (like a batch job) when I wake up.

Thanks Dad for that tip. It's been a big part of my playbook ever since. Happy Father's Day everyone.

From Fred Wilson at http://www.avc.com/a_vc/2011/06/subconscious-information-processing.html
Fred Wilson is a VC and principal of Union Square Ventures. His wife is Gotham Gal and his daughters Jessica and Emily blog too.
Copyright by Fred Wilson, 2011.

Ant's Know !!

Corine was right !

My Mom told me about the ants.
"When you see them building mounds, you are gonna get a LOT of rain "
It proved correct in OK in 75 when we got 5 inches in an hour, and today IRENE is coming our way.
Look near the center of the photo.
They are about an inch and a half high, and all over the yard.

I wonder if they have cable and listen to ActionNews 6 ?

Update: 2 days later, and we got 9 inches of rain in the old plastic bucket in the back yard. No trees down, but were without power for about 20 hours. Lousy sleep with no electricity, no noise in the house, just wind blowing like CRAZY outside, and rain coming down, down, down.

Oh, CANADA..

Just got back from Canada,
[Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec, and points in-between.]

Now I know why I like that place.
1. Everyone is so Darn Healthy, because,
They Walk or Bike EVERYWHERE.
2. They get Govt Healthcare for everyone, so they go right when they get sick, and don't delay because of "The Money" and so, it does not get worse.

Nice people, nice place.

Cheddar Bay Biscuits

MMMMMM.... sounds like a good appetizer,

[Some recipes for this also add butter,
and use Milk vs Water. That sounds tasty, too.]

Cheddar Bay type Biscuits
4 cups of bisquick
1 & 1/3rd cup of water
4 oz of shredded sharp cheddar

Mix until as firm as your resolve.

Scoop out with an Ice Cream scooper,
space evenly on a cookie sheet,
bake at 375 F for 10 to 12 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine:
1/2 cup of salted butter
[melt in microwave for 20 sec's ]
1/8th tsp of garlic powder
1/8th tsp of onion powder
1/2 tsp dried parsley
1/8 tsp salt
a grind of black pepper

Once they come out of the oven,
just brush the heck out of them.
MMMMM !!!!